S and I got married in september 2012. as is customary, i had a speech to give to the assembled audience of family and friends.
not being one to do anything by halves, i decided that a speech wasn’t appropriate. so i settled on writing and performing a poem to incorporate all my various toasts as per tradition.
if you’ve got some tissues handy and are sitting comfortably – then i’ll begin……
My Wife and I
My Wife and I would just like to say,
Thank you for being here on our special day.
If you haven’t already guessed by the rhyme,
I decided a speech wasn’t appropriate this time.
So for you all I decided to write,
A neat little poem – that seemed just right.
We would like to thank first our dads and our mums,
And our most special guest, O our son.
I’d like to thank Carolyn and Alan for their permission,
To fulfil my true life long ambition,
To look down the aisle at a radiant beauty,
And to think that I have a new life long duty,
To care and to love my S for all time,
My best friend, my love. My partner in crime.
Thank you to Alan for the kind words you’ve expressed,
Now you can relax and have a well deserved rest!
Sarah’s family have always been welcoming and kind,
I’d like to take this opportunity to thank them combined,
For being so friendly and honest and true,
Even though I support Carlisle United, a blue.
I make special mention of Eleanor and Paul,
My mum and dad, they have supported us all,
They are my rock and my friends, a solid foundation,
From who I learned ever so much, they have my admiration.
On the eleventh this month, will be their anniversary; pearl,
Thirty years wed, this boy and this girl.
So please be upstanding for my first toast of this day,
To Eleanor and Paul, congratulations we say!
Our parents have helped us on our journey to marriage,
Through their love and support we’ve been able to manage.
But our mums have had their fair share of stresses,
Don’t mention the saga of the bridesmaids dresses!
So I’ll ask the ushers to bring out our token,
Of appreciation to our mums which is often left unspoken.
To Carolyn and Eleanor, we thank you immeasurably,
For being there for us both so willing and ably.
Sarah and I thank you for all that you’ve done,
Our mothers, our friends – you’re second to none.
Next in the spotlight is our O our son,
The light of our lives, mum and dad’s special one.
It gives me great pleasure that one day he’ll say,
I was there when mummy became Mrs. D-J.
The light of our lives, our source of elation,
Who invited you all to this celebration.
Not a day goes by when you don’t make us proud,
When you smile, clap or laugh ever so loud!
Our thanks to Kerry and Linzi, bridesmaids today,
Beautiful and elegant ladies on display!
Thanks to our Ushers Andy, Luke, Nick and Chris,
Who sat everyone down with no-one amiss!
Finally in our party there is one further mention,
To my Best Man James, the source of my tension.
For when he was married, my speech made for him,
Was quite offensive and disparaging of my poor friend Jim.
Now is his chance to make his amends,
But I am pleased to say we will both still be friends.
My thoughts now pass to you all, our guests,
You all look so smart, all dressed to impress!
Thank you very much for all the gifts you have given,
And for the distances that some of you have driven!
Manchester, Newcastle, York, London and Brighton,
This trip to the Lakes will surely enlighten!
Aas the eva sec a cuddy loup a five bar yat?
Yis aye lad aye as, sithey marra and that.
S has asked me in my speech to include,
A very short message, an interlude.
If you haven’t already booked a taxi home,
The dark streets of night expect to roam.
The opportunity post speeches is not one to miss,
Please book a taxi before you’re too pissed.
Unfortunately there are those who are not here today,
Who I wish to honour in the traditional way.
Family and friends who celebrate from afar,
I pay tribute to you all, wherever you are.
I hope everyone here will give their consent,
Raise our glasses and toast, our friends absent.
Now a few words about my beautiful wife,
My S, the love of my life.
A beauty to behold, a divine inspiration,
Who I commit to forever, she is my dedication.
Getting married was my life long ambition,
And somehow S decided on this mathematician!
I am the luckiest man to ever exist,
I knew S was for me, the first time we kissed.
We met the first time at a musical rehearsal,
She entered the room, my head did a reversal,
In walked this girl so intriguing and gorgeous,
Who sat down and sang with the womens chorus.
But I alas I did not know what to say,
So after rehearsal, I went on my way.
Lucky for me, when I got home,
A message appeared on my iPhone,
S wants to be your friend,
Accept Friend Request – this is a godsend!
So we got chatting and days later we went on a date,
A walk around the harbour was what sealed our fate.
The sun as it set caught the eyes of this beauty,
A good night kiss was the gentlemanly duty.
And from that moment I knew this girl had to be mine,
Love at first sight that will last for all time.
So I think you’ve all had enough of me talking,
Of how we both met through S’s cyber stalking.
Needless to say, I could go on for all time,
About how I love my S through the medium of rhyme.
But I think all I need to leave you with is this,
Our love was sealed with our very first kiss.
My final toast of the day is to S, my wife,
To whom I dedicate the rest of my life.
Today you have filled me with immeasurable pride,
Thank you ever so much for being my bride.