Why I’m not saving for O’s Uni fees

When we found out that we were expecting a baby, we thought about how we would afford such a dependant being over his lifetime.  We decided to save a set amount each month to continue until his 18th birthday.  This would then be his to do as he pleases; whether it is to be put towards buying his first car, his first home or University fees.  If we were to have another child, we would save the same amount for his or her 18 years also, so everyone would be equal.
Although recently, I had quite a discussion with my Mother in Law as to how we have chosen to raise O.  In a group discussion, we got onto the topic of providing for your child and giving them a good life as best you can.
It was suggested that parents should give everything they possibly can to their children, whether it would be paying University fees and subsistence, being on trend with the latest fashions or games or tying the school tie in the “cool” way even though they look like morons.
I was quite quick to state that I won’t be saving for our son to go to University on top of what we already save for him.  
This was met with surprise and questions of “Why wouldn’t you want the best for him?”
Well, I do want the best for him.  I want him to take his life in his own hands and do with it what makes him happy.  And he doesn’t need his Mummy and Daddy paying for him to go through University because that’s the “best thing to do”.  I’d want him to go to University and pay for it himself like many others, because he wants to go.  That he wants to go to University to study something he is interested in and that could help him to get a job in this mean wide world that we live in.
I didn’t go to University.  My brother didn’t go to University.  In fact, none of my immediate family has a degree. But we are all happy and enjoy our good jobs.  My employer has put me through College for 5 years part time to get me the special qualifications I need for my job, and I’ve walked away with qualifications, no debt and a wage to show for it.  
On the other hand, O’s dad did go to University.  And he loved every minute of it.  He would openly admit that he loved the social side of student life a bit too much!  But he also has a very good job and enjoys it greatly.   The Student Loan was a bit of a bind but we can now enjoy the extra money now it’s paid off. 
I think I’ve said before that I’d be contented for O to be a greengrocer or fisherman, doctor or scientist, as long as he’s happy.

So, yes.  I do want to give everything I possibly can to my child.  But I also believe he should stand on his own two feet and not rely on his parents to get what he wants out of life.

19 thoughts on “Why I’m not saving for O’s Uni fees

  1. Great post! We are of very similar beliefs here too. The only thing Mr L has said is that we buy his driving lessons and first car. I think that’s just because he’s a car buff to be honest! X

    1. Not at all! You want him to be independent and have good work ethics. Nothing wrong with that at all! Best thing we can teach them in my mind! Mr L and his sisters grew up with nothing – one Christmas his sister got a can if hairspray so I think he just wants to ensure our kids don’t have the same but sometimes he does try to overcompensate bless him! X

  2. I agree lovely! You can only save for so much – we save a bit for the kids but it won’t be anywhere near enough for uni fees. If they want to pursue a career without uni, fine. If they want to go to uni, fine, we will help them as much as they can but they will also have to help themselves. I think that is sensible. Unless I win the lottery any time soon, of course xxx 🙂

    1. This is it. But you never know, by the time our kids go to Uni the fees could be halved or doubled! It’s hard to say how much things like this would cost in 15 years time. Thanks for reading 🙂 x

  3. Definitely agree with you here.
    I always assumed that I would want my girls to go to uni (preferably the college I went to) but I soon realised that I just want them to be in a job that they love. If this means going to university, then so be it, and if it doesn’t then fine. We are putting money into their savings and am sure we would try and help them out a bit if they chose to go to uni.

  4. Here, here!
    I have experience of being ‘that’ child. I went to university because my Dad wanted at least one child to go to uni… I am the youngest and neither of my brothers went. I wanted to be a hairdresser and had he let me be, I may have had my own business by now.
    You have totally the right attitude towards everything! Because although I love my Dad, I will always resent him just a little.

    1. I have a joint degree with honours in Performance Studies and Media Communications (journalism)…. and I still can’t spell. Lol.
      I do have a good job that I might not have gotten without a degree – but my career path would have different anyway xx

  5. Great post! I’m the same as you and although we save each month for LP and LM I had never even thought of that money as being something that they would use for university. As far as I’m concerned, if they want to go to university then they can pay for it themselves like everyone else. Hubby and I have both ended up with good jobs and decent pay for working hard and neither of us has a degree. Agree completely x

    1. I don’t think a degree is the be all and end all, although I understand it does help a lot nowadays as some employers are rather specific. There’s plenty of good jobs out there for non-Uni educated people. Thanks for reading Donna x

  6. I think that is all very well but if you have enough money to pay for your child then it makes it hard for them to get a loan to afford to go. Which I think is stupid too. I agree with what you are saying in principle but just know how hard it may be to go to Uni otherwise. I had to prove I was an independent student as my dad refused to share with the SLC his income.

  7. Great post! I agree totally! The only thing we have said we are going to do is pay for the first few driving lessons and then we will help them out with their first car but tax and insurance will be their responsibility. X

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